The Day That Gakuto Attacked
by xTeniPurix
Summary: Kaidoh has to baby sit Gakuto. Crack.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own PoT.

** Authors note:** This is a crack thing made up by me and Collapse Overture. It was a fun little game we did. I was a bit late on posting but that's just because I'm lazy...and yes.. this is crack

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Kaidoh stood above a newly buried hole, a shovel in his hand. A loud shrieking could be heard in the background.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!" A loud Hyotei Gakuen student shouted out. Kaidoh threw the shovel to the ground, content with his work.

--------Earlier that day------

Hyotei and Seigaku here having a contest of random assortments…but there was one problem. There was a loud red headed enamored player that no one wanted to deal with: Mainly because he never shut up about his 'undying love' for his doubles partner.

Both teams, minus Gakuto, were in the Seigaku gym. All windows, doors, vents and pipe lines were sealed tight. They learned the hard way that Gakuto was like a worm… he could slip into a locked and hidden room with ease.

"Alright…today is the day we had the contests planned." Atobe stated, "But we have a problem."

"Gakuto." The group said in unison.

"Exactly. Now, we need to choose a person to stay here with the demon. So, Ore-sama is benevolent enough to ask for volunteers."

…Silence…

"Thought so. Since Ore-sama is so brilliant and magnificent, Ore-sama already had this planned. We will draw names, which have already been made. Kabaji." Atobe snapped his fingers and the silent student appeared, holding a large green box.

"Usu" Was all he said as he hauled the box to Atobe.

"Alright… Who ever gets chosen can't back down." Oshitari said. He had no intention of being stuck with the clingy acrobat. Ever one shuddered at the thought of being stuck with him for the day.

"Let's just get this over with nya!" Eiji said as he clung to his doubles partner.

"Ore-sama is working on it. All I'm doing is drawing a single name." He spoke as he held up a folded piece of paper in his hand. Opening it, a devious grin danced onto the rich man's face.

"Who is it Atobe?" Shishido said in a bored tone.

"Kaidoh Kaoru." He said the name slowly, drawling the name out as if to taunt the viper; to give a bigger sense of fear of what his day will hold. The group all stopped to turn and look at Kaidoh, who looked dumb struck. Momoshiro burst out laughing.

"Hahaha. You're stuck baby-sitting Mamushi!"

"SHUT UP!" He retorted to his rival. After that there was lot of glaring and more laughing.

"Saaa… it can't be helped Kaidoh-kun." Fuji said with his sadistic smile on.

"We should probably leave, Gakuto will be here soon." Ootori said as he stood up taking his place next to Shishido. The group nodded in agreement and left quicker than Kaidoh could blink. He stood just staring at the door that his teammates left through.

"YUUUUUUUUUUSHIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Kaidoh twitched as a voice rang out from behind him. He was in the midst of turning around when he found himself face first on the gymnasium flooring.

"fssssshhhhhhh…."

"YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"

"Get off of me."

"WHERE IS MY LOVE?!"

"Not here obviously." Kaidoh scowled and shoved the red head off of him.

"But but but but but but…."

"Just shut up already." Kaidoh glared at the red head.

"TAKE ME TO MY LOVE!" Gakuto clung to him like a child scared of the dark.

"He doesn't love you." Kaidoh said as his eye twitched. He hadn't even been with the kid ten minutes and he already wanted to beat the crap out of him.

"W-what…" The red head's jaw dropped and then he went quiet. Kaidoh froze at the wondrous peace. Though … to his dismay it didn't last. "WHY DOESN'T YUUSHI LOVE ME?!"

"Many reasons." Kaidoh said as he began to walk out of the gym. Gakuto of course was right on his heel. He wanted to know why the man of his dreams didn't care about him.

"You know the reasons why Yuushi doesn't love me?" Kaidoh could have sworn he sounded almost innocent…almost.

"It's obvious." Was his reply to the loud brat. Then there was silence again. They had managed to make it to the bus stop when he felt the red head pounce on his back, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

"WHY DOESN'T HE LOOOOVE MEEEE!!!!!?????!?!?!" Kaidoh twitched as he tried to through the brat off of him once again. Failing this time.

"YOU'RE LOUD AND ANNOYING!" Kaidoh shouted as Gakuto gasped. Then he got the look of a girl who has just been insulted about her weight.

" I AM NOT LOUD AND ANNOYING!"

"Fssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh." Kaidoh scowled as the clingy acrobat still clung to him. He looked back to the bus stop to see that they had missed it.

"Follow me!!" Gakuto said as he jumped off of the viper.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm going to show you how much I love Yuushi."

"What?"

---- A couple hours later at Gakuto's house----

Kaidoh wasn't too sure how they arrived at this house or why he was in it. All he knew was he wanted out. It seemed normal at first. Then you went to the hallway that leads down to Gakuto's room.

At mid-point in the hall way there were tons of posters of the Hyotei tensai. Kaidoh twitched at the thought that he went and enlarged all those photos. Then if the hallway didn't scream go back. The door did. Written in big bold letters were the words. 'Gakuto and Yuushi 4ever.' There were many colorful hearts and pictures that had been edited for them to look like married couple. The door knob even had a picture of Oshitari's face on it. Needless to say Kaidoh didn't touch the door.

Then upon entering the room Kaidoh froze. He had never seen anything this scary in his life. Thousands of pictures of Oshitari made up the wall. There were a pair of glasses, which Kaidoh assumed were Oshitari's, sitting on the dresser. On the bed there was 3 plushies of the tensai. The blanket looked like it had been specially ordered to have the blue haired man shirtless on it.

"SEE! THIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM!"

"...'

"SEEEEEEE! THAT IS LOVE!" Kaidoh twitched. That was not love...at all. He cast his eyes to the door, thinking he could make it if he ran. Then of course he was pounced on again...which completely ruined his plans.

"GET OFF!" He exclaimed. This...thing was the last creature he wanted on him.

"Why doesn't Yuuuushiii loooooooove me?" Then that was it. Kaidoh took the nearest blunt object, which happened to be an Oshitari action figure. Then the red head passed out mumbling about his love. Kaidoh looked around the room before he got a devious idea.

------------A few more hours later---------------

Kaidoh had made a small trip to river after spending hours of gathering up the 'Oshitari' items out of the stalkers room. It taken many hours but he succeeded. To his luck, the Oshitari action figure did wonders at knocking people out. It was now eight at night and Kaidoh stood above a newly buried hole, a shovel in his hand. A loud shrieking could be heard in the background.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!" A loud Hyotei Gakuen student shouted out. The red head had woken up in time to see the fact that Kaidoh was burying his beloved items. It was a good thing the viper had thought of tying the loud one to a near by pole.

Kaidoh threw the shovel to the ground, content with his work. At that time his cell phone rang. He opened his phone and listened to the voice quietly, then a grin appeared. He was free to go. So he did. He took off at a nice jogging pace back towards Seigaku.

"DON'T LEAVE ME! AT LEAST BRING ME YUUSHI. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSHIIIIIIII. I WANT MY LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE BAAAAAAAAACK!"

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**End-Note**: R&R 


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